I've been trying to journal. I've been doing ok, but it seems like I have 3 or 4 different notebooks scattered around the house, and I can't keep up with them all. My thoughts tend to overflow on Facebook, but I don't think my 600+ friends care to read my "randomness". After reading a few blogs written by friends, I think this will be a good outlet.
I have been married to my husband for 15 years. It has been full of highs and lows, but I would say the past five years have been the most erratic. Not always necessarily in a bad way; I love the illustration in the movie "Life" with Michael Keaton. On a roller-coaster I'm always anxious and nervous on that clicking ride to the top. But the ride down is all worth it. There are turns that jerk me and sling me around, but I'm always out of breath and happy when the ride ends! We have had job transitions, divorces, job stress, new positions, illness, surgeries, and friendships ending (and beginning). Two huge events that have impacted our lives the most is finding a church family, and the death of Randy's dad.
God tried to steer us toward Mt. Olive about the same time as my parent's divorce, a little over 5 years ago. We were invited by an acquaintance from high school. At that time he said there were about 10 people that met on Friday night, and they ate dinner and had a bible study. At that time Randy was still traveling, and I was nervous about walking into a situation like that. I also had a "bad taste" in my mouth from church. I was trying to attend a larger church where we didn't feel accepted. Fast forward 2 years of church bouncing, and a friend invites me to attend this fantastic church where, despite her divorce, she felt fully accepted. I walked into the doors that first Sunday, and I think we have only missed 4 or 5 since. I got involved in the children's ministry, and our family joined a Lifegroup. Our 13 year old was baptized last year, and our 14 year and 8 year old have both talked about it. Our faith has been questioned, and grown in wonderful ways. We have made friends that have become our family.
Last August Randy's dad passed away. It changed the whole family. I doubt there is a day that goes by that Randy doesn't think of his dad. Before his death, Randy just had to worry about taking care of me and the kids. Now he also has his Mom to worry about. I have had to get over selfishness, and accept this new family dynamic. I have a whole new respect for Randy, my brother in law, and both my sister in laws. I know we would not have made it through the past 10 months without our friends, church family, and Lifegroups.
So here we go... Randy has a new job. We will have a son entering high school (who happens to be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrom, eek!). I am beginning a new journey with my health. I have never appreciated, and HATED, insurance and Dr. offices like I have the past 6 weeks. Hopefully this week will bring answers and pain relief. I don't pray for a diagnosis, but I pray for guidance for my neurologist, and a PROPER diagnosis (if that makes sense). I have Romans 8:28 tattoo'd on my arm. I didn't even hesitate when the tattoo artist put the needle in my arm last summer. She questioned it, and I told her "this verse has got me through some hard times. I know there will be more, and I can't miss it there". My favorite version is the NIV- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
It's comforting to know that He is always there, and will never leave us. No matter how hard life gets, or how dark it seems, I still feel his presence. There have been times where I have gotten mad, and griped at Him. Why are YOU letting this happen? In the end, I know He has timing, purpose, and a plan for us. We are BLESSED, and that's why I called my blog "Life to the Fullest". We'll see how it goes :)
